Love IV

I remember that first Valentine’s Day of intimacy
and how uncomfortable it made me.
Second Valentine’s became comfortable
–idea of romance less repulsive,
more normal, more regular, more mundane.
Third Valentine I had determination of walking away
looking back

wishing I kept my discomfort.

Intimacy will never be comfortable for me
but I learned to lie so well,
pretend so convincingly.

Lying in different arms
thinking of the feel of your chest
against my cheek,
your arms around me.
In that moment, we both wanted comfort
and we had it.
It was wrong for me.

Maybe it will always be.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s