Do you find yourself single, bitter, and among the crew of entitled men who cling to the theory that attempts to comfort you with the pretense that the reason for your first two ailments is you being too nice? Do you find yourself being rejected even though you clearly did a significant amount of nice things for a woman and laid the ground work before getting the courage to ask her out? Do you feel as if all of your niceness has been used up with no goddamn payback? If yes, then I want to help you with a life-transforming fact: it is NOT because you are too nice. It is in fact because of one of several other factors, the most likely and prominent one being that you’re boring.
I know you’re boring precisely because this theory is valuable to you. You are susceptible to the most generic and least insightful invention of the 21st century, which indicates your lack of personality and critical thinking. You are not a leader; you are a follower. You spend time trying to entice women who are obviously significantly more attractive and/or intelligent than you are into being with you because you are nice. That’s the greatest trait you have to offer this person: niceness. Being nice is not something that is or should be an asset. Being nice is a prerequisite. Imagine applying to law school boasting about having completed an undergraduate degree with a GPA and LSAT score significantly below average. Makes your pitch seem a bit ridiculous, doesn’t it? It’s because without an undergraduate degree, you would automatically be screened out, whereas with it, you are given further consideration. Just like being nice allows you to engage in interactions with this person, whereas in being anything but, you would be alienating them entirely. If niceness is your greatest asset, then there are greater problems preventing you from finding that special someone than your special someone’s inability to detect nice things.
You know who else is that entitled? These men. Nobody likes these men. Okay, some complete morons like these men. But also, you’re attempting to be liked by morons.
Now, it’s not just that you don’t have anything particularly enticing to offer, but just take a look at your basic character. You would only be upset about being nice and not receiving reward as reciprocity if it was out of your natural behaviour. If you always conducted yourself nicely then you would have just been being yourself and therefore not factoring that into your rejection. This begs the second very important question: are you nice at all? Fine, you went out of your way to be there for someone and gave them more time and attention than you would to a regular person, but that’s a part of being vulnerable. You simply allowed yourself to be vulnerable because you thought it was worth the risk. Of course it feels shitty to expose vulnerability without reciprocity but that’s a chance you have to take to find worthwhile companionship. If your niceness hinges on self-interest, if your only intention of being nice is to get something in return, most intelligent people would not regard you as nice at all, and some more intelligent people might even classify you as a sociopath.
Lastly, some guy who’s up his own ass and hidden behind a fort of ego instructed you that women like mean men and because you were too nice and deserving and perfect, she didn’t want to be with you. This person is encouraging you to view somebody that you wish to seek as a life partner as so inferior and irrational that they are more likely to like you because you make them insecure. They are circulating the myth that to win people over, you must treat them poorly. How stupid, dysfunctional, or emotionally disturbed is this person that you’re chasing? Why on earth are you chasing a person who you perceive this way? What kind of relationship could you harbor from internalizing this STUPID ass philosophy? It does not look too healthy to me.
So, I have probably said this before, though not in writing, but I will say it again: WOMEN LIKE ANY OTHER SENTIENT BEINGS ARE LOOKING FOR A PERSON WITH AN APPEALING PERSONALITY AND EXISTENCE OR MAYBE REALLY GOOD LOOKS OR SOMETHING DUMBER BUT THEY DON’T NOT LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE NICE. THAT’S FUCKING STUPID. AND IF YOU EXPECT TO FIND ANY COMPANIONSHIP EVER, YOU SHOULD STRIVE TO BE NICE TO THEM BECAUSE THAT’S NORMAL. THAT’S FUNCTIONAL. YOU MIGHT WANT TO WORK ON YOUR PERSONALITY A BIT MORE PERHAPS BUT PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF WOMEN, STOP PERPETUATING THE STUPID STEREOTYPE THAT MAKES VULNERABLE MEN THINK THAT “NICE”. GUYS. FINISH. LAST.