We are all too familiar with the underratedness of solitude so I will spare you the cliches of discussing developing yourself as a person by being alone etc. What is special about being by yourself, especially, living by yourself goes beyond the deep virtues of self-knowledge and other related attributes. As important as they may be, deep spiritual development doesn’t always equate to being a better person in very literal ways in terms of your actions and livelihood. Although, to be fulfilled the previous might be more valuable, there is a certain essential value in acting in ways that make you more pleasant company to have around.
By living alone, you will learn to take care of yourself. Living at home, it is easy to take for granted, the numerous people who ensure that you are fed, clothed, bathed, and alive. Now, left alone to fend for yourself will make you realize how much other people have been helping you in your endeavours and your capability to do so by yourself. Little things like taking the initiative to take out trash define you. It’s the randomest thing, but it really does. You could be living at home as a lazy asshole who will not do these little things because you’ve accepted these tasks as being someone else’s responsibility. Even living with another person, such as your significant other, often call for the division of labor and you might have certain expectations of them like, again, taking out the trash. In the worst case scenario, you will be in a gendered living situation where the male is taking out the trash and fixing things around the house and the female is cooking in the kitchen, doing laundry and other such shit. But ultimately, living by yourself will force you to do all of these tasks. There is no one to baby you and take care of you. You’re on your own and you’re fucking surviving. It’s beautiful. You get to know the crass and crevaces of your house, fixing its little attributes by yourself. You will learn to experiment with food. Not to mention, form into a more interesting person overall.
Next, now that you’ve realized that others have played a vital role in ensuring your shitty existence so far, you are also going to realize, that hey, you in fact don’t need them. You very literally need no one else to survive. You might need others, especially a sense of community, to survive well, but you very literally don’t need any other human being to survive in the world. You can do for yourself. This is minimalism of existence. It will make you more confident in your capabilities and self-dependent in the way you conduct yourself, which are again, highly attractive human attributes. It’s kind of like masturbating in a way. Yeah, maybe sexual pleasures are better when accompanied by human companionship, but if you’re incapable of doing it for yourself, then there can’t be doing much else for the people you’re involved with. So, learn to survive on your own and masturbate.
All of this is not to undermine the valuable companionship in your life that are commonly prevalent in the form of parents, siblings, friends, and significant others but you should note that most of these relationships are accompanied by a ‘fluff’ factor. To maintain a living situation with other human beings, you need to constantly invite them into your thoughts and verbalize your ideas (in a healthy situation anyways). This process gives importance to the most insignificant of things. For example, having to explain where you are going should you at random decide to wander outside, having to justify the motivation behind changing a t.v. channel, and pretty much anything else that creates a smidgen of difference in your mundane routine. As soon as you deviate, the people/person you are residing with needs to understand your motivation for the change. And even though, there are many worse things that can impede in the enjoyment of your life, these ‘fluffy’ interractions mask the important things and integrate them with the insignificant ones. With the distraction of explaining inconsequential deviances, there is not much time to be still, empty, and clear. There is so much cloudiness, or as I like to call it, ‘fluff’, preventing us from getting to anything deeper.
To add to the rigidness of the routine is the fact that people who have known you for some time have preconceptions and expectations of you. Every time you interract with them, it reinforces who you have always been. It could be that they perceive you as being more intelligent than you really are, which in turn can prevent you from questioning your flaws, or worse yet, they can perceive as being more shittier than you really are, which will contribute to the dimishing of your self-esteem. Either way, it is much more challenging to assess your behaviour on your own, learn, grow, and most importantly change.
With all of that being said, I’ve only ever lived by myself for some odd two months, in a high-in-demand area of a beautiful city. People who have been living alone for several years will call bullshit on at least some of these points and cite loneliness and overratedness as reasons to believe the contrary. Of course it matters where you’re living and what you’re doing but I say that these people have been in bliss so long that they forgot how much of their happiness is a result of their living conditions and can’t grasp the magnitude of their privelege. It is so dope, enlightening and all that jazz to have that experience and if you get the chance, you’d be a doofus not to take it.