Of course it so happens, that as I’m sitting around on a Thursday night with a roster full of important things to do, I choose to instead wander off into thoughts about the beautiful creatures that sometimes comprise the ‘opposite’ sex. This warrants explicit expression because I feel that I have been especially fortunate in the department. I can say quite confidently that I’ve had the pleasure of being acquainted with some of the most beautiful, charming, and overall stand-up men throughout my life. These enchanting creatures exist in about the 10-20% range in the younger populations but as you start to cross the mid-20’s (sometimes even early-20’s) threshold, they become more and more abundant. To me personally, the overall impact of their existence reveals in the way of inspiration, and chances are that when I’m attracted, I’m also inspired and maybe even vice versa. Sometimes it is entirely non-sexual admiration but that holds for the beautiful females I’ve met as well and can be explored at a different time. So let me lustt…
The first most basic thing that makes these men attractive is their hard work. When males enter the state of maturity where they recognize the need to invest their time well and be productive, that is when they gain their first undeniable layer of attractiveness. This doesn’t mean they’re ballin’, making bank, or otherwise wealthy. Nope, not at all. This just means that they use their time productively and don’t routinely waste all their brain energy on planning their next hangout session, drunk/high session, and other such fleeting endeavors. They are now interested in becoming independent entities who can take care of themselves and perhaps maybe even those around them. They are able to tire themselves by working to the bone; they are not satisfied living off of other people/wasting away their parents’ money. However it is they live, they work for it. Even if they don’t have any interest in complying with capitalist ideologies (*drools*), they nonetheless recognize the requirements of survival in the shittyness that comprises this system and have ceased to be ‘dependents’ (at this point, I’m starting to realize that I might be a strangely asexual being and everything I’m saying also kind of applies to women). There is something about a tired, overworked primate that exudes sexiness. Suppose they are not able to sustain themselves though, are they still spending copious amounts of time working towards something valuable? That is ultimately more important than working hard in the capitalist 9-5 way, although good ol’ hard work does indicate a certain amount of responsibility that becomes necessary to accompany you in the growing years as a woman. That being said, it is still possible to be a working, self-dependent man and be unattractive, such as the dudes who bitch and whine about working hard and hold onto their ‘Fridays’ and ‘Saturdays’ because that’s all the interests they’ve gathered in their life. It is another to be in the presence of a man who enjoys his hard work, is aware he has chosen it, and recognizes his struggles and privileges. Although, this, however crucial, is still pretty basic but it does manage to elevate attractiveness to a certain degree. This is my ideal mind-state:
The second feature they manage to attain is a certain degree of freedom that allows them to distinguish themselves from followers. These beauties will think for themselves, produce original ideas and form opinions that are not direct derivatives of popular opinions from their environment. They have the ability to disagree with their peers and have often spent some time contemplating on the spectrum of complexities and simplicities that comprise the human existence. They don’t adopt the ideas of popular people whether local or celebrity, but rather seek out people and celebrities who are compatible with their way of thinking (and yes, there’s a huge difference). The way to tell is the ease with which they can contribute originally to the ideas of a conversation without deliberately and forcefully directing its flow. I’ve interacted with too many males who will purposely try to regurgitate pre-rehearsed scripts after discovering certain things about me. As flattering as that effort may be, it really doesn’t do much in drawing the attention of a fully-formed person as your plans will be completely transparent and your personality will come off as insecure. Sometimes, it’s a product of how nervous you make them, in which case it is not an accurate reflection of their thinking capabilities, but other times it is a definite red flag. A good indicator in the positive direction is their reading habits. It can be as simple as, does he read? And if yes, what does he read? And most importantly, how does he read? Does he engage critically with the materials or is he a sole consumer?
This ultimately takes him to the new level of sexy because he is able to implement his ideas into existence. It is not just that he has thought about doing these things but that he actually makes an effort to do them. A lot of people I know contemplate the arts and mention it in their fleeting interests. But does this person take time out of their day to harbor their interests and work on their passions in a very physical and literal manner? Do they put as much heart, soul, and energy in this as they do in the means of their livelihood (if it’s separate from this, of course).
Admittedly, one of the major reasons all these things are attractive to me is because they inspire me to be the better version of myself and perhaps to live in the best possible way, which is what I think the function of like/love/companionship is supposed to be. Although I find people inspiring who I’m not necessarily attracted to, a central feature in my attraction to people is how much they are capable of inspiring me. Watching men live their lives in this manner makes a woman all types of weak in admiration and attraction. So, stay beautiful fellas 😉 we watchin’ and we loves it.